I was reading an article on Huffpost about Zooey Deschanel choosing to be childfree. I don’t know why, but I always take a little peek at the comments. The reason I don’t know why is because most of the people who have something to say aren’t very smart. I don’t know why that is, but I’ve always noticed it when it came to reading online articles. I kinda miss the print versions. Newspapers I think they might have been called?
I digress. The first commenter was all excited because she too has chosen the lifestyle. Though she mentioned how people always made her feel like there was something wrong with her. Enter Joe Schmoe who had this to say:
“It is definitely unusual, from a species point of view. I mean, that is literally what breasts and a uterus evolved for, lol. There are genetic factors that make people want to have kids, that is why there are so many people! It isn’t like it is nonsensical for people to wonder about why you are different.”
That’s all well and good, but of course I have issue with it. Some people can’t procreate. They have a low sperm count, faulty organs, bad eggs. Explain that. And in my mind, if that can happen, the “genetic factors” that we are talking here, how do we know some people just aren’t born without them? Maybe it’s not as genetic or factored in as much as the breeders would like to believe.
And I hate to throw religion in on this, but God gave free will. That means we have a choice in everything. Every choice has a consequence, but we are allotted to choose. So in my mind, again (it’s my blog after all), why is it that childfree people have to be “different” from people who choose to parent? It is nonsensical for people to wonder why someone is so different from them because we all have choices.
Why did Becca choose to post something that I found a little offensive? Because she wanted to share her belief on that subject. Why does she believe that way? Because to her a baby is precious the moment it is conceived. Why am I pro-choice? Because I am a thorough believer in “Not my uterus, not my life, not my choice I have to live with therefore not my business or decision.”
What is nonsensical is to believe someone should do as you do, be as you are, live as you live, understand everything you understand, and see things exactly as you see them. A lot of parents are like that, trying to instill their ideals and value systems into their kids. Some parents can be quite fanatical about it. That’s when the child usually rebels and then the parent’s sitting there wondering why.
What should be is acceptance, respect, unconditional love and patience.
It’s not different to not want to have children. If everyone who could parent on this planet had one child, we’d be in a bit of trouble. I look forward to the day where I can freely tell someone I am choosing not to parent and not have to lie and say it’s because I can’t. Because no matter what the circumstance, it will always be because I won’t.