There are a lot of (mis)preconceived notions out there on sexuality. Especially though when it comes to Asexuality. Here is where I am going to educate because a famous writer once said if you truly have the desire to know about something, the best thing to do is write a book on it. Well I think a blog post shall suffice for now.
First though I am going to give you the textbook (Google) definition on what Asexuality is:
I am going to go a little further than that and say it’s more than not feeling sexual attraction, you don’t feel any sexual desires. I could watch a porn or an erotic movie and not get turned on. I can read a sexual interaction and not have any sexual reaction to it.
There are some myths to Asexuality though that I would like to clear up. And here’s where the fun begins.
Myth 1: Asexuals have been sexually abused at one point in their life.
This is not true for Asexuality and gives a bad rap to those who have been victimized in their lives at one point of another. Now at the age of 14 I was victimized by a guy I shouldn’t have been hanging around with. He didn’t rape me via sexual intercourse, but he did other things. I personally feel this has no bearing on my sexuality or lack there of.
Myth 2: Asexuality is a mental disorder.
Again, false. Asexuality is just as “normal” as allosexuality. There is nothing inherently wrong for a lack of sexual desire.
Myth 3: It’s physical, they have low lobidos.
Not true. There have been asexuals with very natural sex drives that can enjoy having sex, they just aren’t the initiators as it doesn’t come naturally to them to pursue sex.
Myth 4: They don’t masturbate enough.
I don’t believe self-pleasure as anything to do with increasing a desire you naturally do not come by. I have masturbated, I don’t do it very often (at all usually) and yes it can feel good, but it’s not that sex or masturbation doesn’t feel good to an asexual, it’s that they don’t naturally have a want for it. I can eat ice cream and enjoy it when I do, but only if it’s offered to me, I don’t go out of my way to have it. And I never buy it.
Myth 5: They don’t know their sexual orientation/Haven’t met the right partner/They don’t know what turns them on.
Relationships are about romance, too. And I believe that everyone knows who they are romantically attracted to for a relationship. Whether it is man, woman or both. You still know.
The right partner is bullshit also. When I get in a relationship with a man I love and am in love with, I still won’t initiate sex, but I will have sex with them because I have the desire to connect and the desire to please him.
And yes, a big myth is that Asexuals can’t get turned on. It’s not true. We can enjoy sex as much as the next person, we just can go way longer without it than the next person. As long as other needs are getting met in the relationship.